[identity profile] somer.livejournal.com
Title: How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] ashtraythief and [livejournal.com profile] somersault_j
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: CRACK, dildos, comment fic collaboration between ash and me
Length: 1.400 words


Summary: Jensen is a total nerd, wearing dino underwear. Jared really likes it.
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: Late Nights at the Zoo
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2,000

Summary: Jared and Jensen really love each other. With Chad’s help, they take the next step.
Warnings/Kinks: tiger!Jared, panda!Jensen, schmoop, porn
Disclaimer: This did not happen. Ever. Seriously.
Notes: This month’s [livejournal.com profile] smpc. Timestamp to Night at the Zoo, in which Jared the tiger falls in love with Jensen the panda and despite zoo fences, they make it work. Written for my kittehs [livejournal.com profile] alycat, [livejournal.com profile] keep_waking_up, and [livejournal.com profile] kinkajou who demanded wished for tiger/panda porn for Christmas Valentine’s. To the absolute surprise to no one, I obliged. I still know nothing about zoo procedures. Many, many thanks for [livejournal.com profile] fiercelynormal for the beta!

This way to the porn!
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: The S&M Adventures
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~1,800

Summary: When Gerald Slicer watched the squirrel in his backyard, it should have made him suspicious. It didn’t. It was the last mistake he ever made.
Warnings/Kink: moose!jared, squirrel!Jensen, violence, minor character death, sex (yes, I am not kidding), partly outsider POV
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of this. In fact, I still don’t believe I’ve written this. I am definitely making no profit off of this.
Notes: So I’m trying to write a fic that should have been done ages ago. It just won’t flow. Then my roommate sneezed like a homicidal rodent and this happened. I don’t know, people. I think this might be the most insane thing I’ve ever written. And I’ve written dino porn. You have been warned.
Thank you, so much, to my steadfast beta linvro21 who puts up with all my weirdness without batting an eye. Or so she claims… All remaining mistakes are clingy bastards.
[identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
Title: The Great Escape
Author:[livejournal.com profile] anniespinkhouse
Pairing:
douchebag!Jared/OC
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: crack, abuse (but bear with me)
Summary: Set in the au of the S9 mockumentary and won't make much sense unless you've seen that.
"Jared says he loves him..."
Length: Drabble (100 words)
Disclaimer: This is all fiction folks. The boys and their alter egos don't belong to me.

{LJ} {AO3}
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: In the Land Before Time: If We Hold On Together
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, side Chad/Sophia
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~5,700

Summary: Jared and Jensen have settled into life in their new territory. With settling down new problems arise, but an unforeseen event brings them closer together than ever. Or: How they expanded the herd again.
Warnings/Kinks: crack and schmoop in abundance, dino-sex, switching, general inappropriateness when it comes to the dealing with childhood memories and minor dino death
Disclaimer: No dinosaurs were harmed in the writing of this fic
Notes: Written in honor of [livejournal.com profile] cassiopeia7’s birthday. I saw it was coming up and it reminded me of this idea I had, which I then had to write even though I’m supposed to be doing other things. Oh well, hope you enjoy!
Title taken from the Land Before Time soundtrack. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] linvro21 for the speedy beta!

Part three in the Dinosaur Chronoicles, following In The Land Before Time and In The Land Before Time: The Wisdom Of Friends.
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: Night at the Zoo
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R (for language? Rating might change later)
Words: ~ 5,800 (this part)

Summary: Jared is a lonely tiger at the zoo who just wants a friend to cuddle with. His quest seems hopeless until he meets panda Jensen
Warnings/Kinks: tiger!Jared and panda!Jensen, crack (obviously), incorrect portrayal of animal life at the zoo and complete and utter schmoop
Disclaimer: The boys don’t belong to me. Do I really need to tell you that this never happened?
Notes: For inspiration, I looked at the panda cam at the San Diego Zoo and several of their videos. You should all go over there and flail over babypanda cuteness.
Thanks to my awesome beta linvro21 for making it pretty.

Part One (Part Two should follow in a couple of days)
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: Stirring up a Storm
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: 5,500

Summary: Jared is the God of Sports and occasionally he gets a little too caught up in his job. His boyfriend Jensen, the God of Weather, is not amused. So when Jensen withholds cold weather during the winter Olympics, Jared must come through for his followers and convince Jensen to give them real winter weather.

Warnings/Kinks: bottom!Jensen, the boys being gods (i.e. stubborn, entitled, self-absorbed assholes), PWP

Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] deirdre_c's prompt on her Winter Olympics Porn Sam/Dean & J2 Comment-fic Meme and used for this month's [livejournal.com profile] smpc. I have taken various liberties with sports and their schedules. But it’s for the sake of the porn, so I guess it’s alright?

Golden thanks to [livejournal.com profile] linvro21 for the speedy beta, all mistakes you find stubbornly remained there because they like me so much.

Animal Magic

Feb. 19th, 2014 10:47 pm
[identity profile] annie46.livejournal.com
Title: Animal Magic
Author: Annie46
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 11,811 (split into 2 parts because of LJ's word limit)
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: When he was five Jared wanted to 'Talk to the Animals' just like Doctor Doolittle. Somehow his wish was granted, but Jared soon found out that talking to the animals was no fairy tale. Alone at thirty and no sign of love on the horizon, Jared meets Jensen (a vet who is very meticulous) when he takes a stray dog to Jensen’s surgery. Can these two very different people find love and what will finally make Jared confess his deepest, darkest secret?

A/N: Written for [livejournal.com profile] heartblowswild who was generous enough to buy me for Fandomaid.
I really hope you like this, and that it floats your boat!! I did try and use your prompt but being me a little angst crept in among the crack elements!

Thanks also to Debz for her sterling beta work – without her there would be no Annie46!

Read More
[identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
.


Title: The Attic Room
Author: [livejournal.com profile] anniespinkhouse

Character/Pairings: Jensen/Jared
Genre: au
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: some swear words, sexual concepts and behavior, M.egg-preg, unplanned parenthood, sickening quantity of Christmas sparkle and schmoop, oh and Chad Michael-Murray. Unbetaed
Length: ~14.3K (complete)
Summary:
Jensen was concentrating on his nursing career, which is probably why he found himself almost homeless just before Christmas. Luckily (?) he found a room in Chad and Misha's house. It wasn't the attic room that was advertised, and in fact, he began to think there was something altogether mysterious about the attic room, and evasive about his housemates. Nothing could have prepared him for what he actually discovered there; a dragon, an egg, and maybe love.
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: Building Sandcastles
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~ 7,000

Summary: To Jared, Jensen has always been the most beautiful dragon to fly over the earth. But Jared never thought he had a shot, he was way too uncoordinated and un-dragony. But when the call went out for Jensen's mating competition, Jared decided to compete anyway. After all, if there was just a theoretical chance, Jared had to try. Unbeknownst to him, Jensen had his own plans.

Warnings/Kinks: dragons, dragon porn (sentient bestiality if you will), bottom!Jensen and a healthy dose of schmoop

Disclaimer: The boys are not mine, and I’m not sure in which universe this would ever happen

Notes: Merry Christmas everyone! Written for the kittehs, who prompted me with clumsy wooing dragon Jared. Betad by [livejournal.com profile] linvro21. All remaining mistakes are because she missed them. (Her words, not mine :D)

[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: The Red Files - Case #243 or How Beets Almost Ended the World
Author: [livejournal.com profile] ashtraythief
Artist: [livejournal.com profile] kjanddean
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, with a side of Kim/Felicia
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~ 11,000

Summary: It’s Agent Rhodes’s first week with an agency that doesn’t exist, surveilling a creature that doesn’t exist, with new computer technology that doesn’t exist. But her new co-worker is a smoking hot IT geek, so she doesn’t mind watching unassuming college student Jensen Ackles all day, waiting for his mysterious and, as of yet, unidentified boyfriend to show up

Warnings/Kinks: Outsider POV, bottom!Jensen, creatures, knotting, voyeurism, slight crack with a hint of angst and a good dose of schmoop, and relationship drama involving beets

Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] linvro21’s prompt on [livejournal.com profile] j2_prompts, because today is her birthday and the awesomeness of her existence needs to be celebrated.

Huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] keep_waking_up for the stellar beta work, and to the general population of the kitteh gang for plotting help :)



Fic can be found here.

[livejournal.com profile] kjanddean’s amazing art is here. It is NSFW, obviously, and also a tad spoilery in nature.
[identity profile] ar-richardson.livejournal.com
Part Six & The Epilogue of the "A Little Familiar" Series
Pairing
: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None really, unless you need a warning for snark.
Disclaimer: Obviously not real and not meant to imply reality. This is crack, ladies and gentleman.
Authors Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator's prompt for the Kettle of Trouble meme. This is probably not at all what she had in mind when she gave that prompt, but it's where my warped mind chose to go with it, so here it is... Beta done as always by [livejournal.com profile] bumblebat79
Summary:Ever wonder how sorcerer's wind up with their familiars? Well J1, a mild mannered IT professional is about to discover that J2, the hipster in marketing isn't all he appears and the word 'Master' will never mean the same thing to him again.

Start at the beginning: Part One


Part 6: A Little Less Talk
A Little Epilogue

And since it's not over yet on the Pacific Coast, Happy Halloween! 
[identity profile] ar-richardson.livejournal.com
Parts Four and Five of the "A Little Familiar" Series
Pairing
: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R (bordering on NC-17)
Warnings: None really, unless you need a warning for snark.
Disclaimer: Obviously not real and not meant to imply reality. This is crack, ladies and gentleman.
Authors Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator's prompt for the Kettle of Trouble meme. This is probably not at all what she had in mind when she gave that prompt, but it's where my warped mind chose to go with it, so here it is... Beta done as always by [livejournal.com profile] bumblebat79
Summary:Ever wonder how sorcerer's wind up with their familiars? Well J1, a mild mannered IT professional is about to discover that J2, the hipster in marketing isn't all he appears and the word 'Master' will never mean the same thing to him again. Here are parts four and five, in which Jared gets a little tied up...

Part Four: A Little Bondage
Part Five: A Little Bonding

And if you want to start at the beginning, here is Part One: A Little Familiar
[identity profile] ar-richardson.livejournal.com
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: A bit of violence, Introduction of an OMC
Disclaimer: Obviously not real and not meant to imply reality. This is crack, ladies and gentleman.
Authors Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator's prompt for the Kettle of Trouble meme. This is probably not at all what she had in mind when she gave that prompt, but it's where my warped mind chose to go with it, so here it is...
Summary:Ever wonder how sorcerer's wind up with their familiars? Well J1, a mild mannered IT professional is about to discover that J2, the hipster in marketing isn't all he appears and the word 'Master' will never mean the same thing to him again. This is part three, where Jared faces off against an unexpected visitor....


A Little Trouble


This way to Part One
[identity profile] ar-richardson.livejournal.com
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None really, unless you need a warning for snark.
Disclaimer: Obviously not real and not meant to imply reality. This is crack, ladies and gentleman.
Authors Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator's prompt for the Kettle of Trouble meme. This is probably not at all what she had in mind when she gave that prompt, but it's where my warped mind chose to go with it, so here it is...
Summary:Ever wonder how sorcerer's wind up with their familiars? Well J1, a mild mannered IT professional is about to discover that J2, the hipster in marketing isn't all he appears and the word 'Master' will never mean the same thing to him again. This is part two, where Jared learns that Jensen isn't really wearing a costume...


A Little Confusion


This way to Part One
[identity profile] ar-richardson.livejournal.com
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG
Warnings: None really, unless you need a warning for snark.
Disclaimer: Obviously not real and not meant to imply reality. This is crack, ladies and gentleman.
Authors Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator's prompt for the Kettle of Trouble meme. This is probably not at all what she had in mind when she gave that prompt, but it's where my warped mind chose to go with it, so here it is (the first part, anyway)...
Summary:Ever wonder how sorcerer's wind up with their familiars? Well J1, a mild mannered IT professional is about to discover that J2, the hipster in marketing isn't all he appears and the word 'Master' will never mean the same thing to him again.

This way to the fic...
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: Pastoral in J-major
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~ 7300

Summary: Jensen is a lonely centaur who thinks he's never going to find true love until at the annual wine festival, his friends force convince him to take part in the mating ceremony

Warnings/Kinks: Crack, centaur porn, bottom!Jensen, blatant abuse of Greek mythology, also there are a lot of naked butts here, just saying and I'm indulging in the worst stereotypes ever. Apologies.

Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] keep_waking_up's prompt over at [livejournal.com profile] j2_prompts. Inspired by a sequence from Disney's Fantasia to Beethoven's Sixth Symphony. You should also check out [livejournal.com profile] kjanddean's amazing art for this prompt (NSFW).

I don't think [livejournal.com profile] linvro21 knew exactly what she was getting herself into when she offered to beta my stories, but I'm eternally grateful she did. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] keep_waking_up for selfishly awesomely cheering me on during the late hours of the night.

[identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
.



So, this is the prize for the winner of the double-cross I posted last week. To [livejournal.com profile] tipsy_kitty who got all the answers correct, I can only apologise for the muse she sparked when she asked me to write to the prompt 'dragon' - and since this ended up being a bit more than a drabble, she gets ten times the atrocity it could have been.

Title: Brief Encounter
Author:[livejournal.com profile] anniespinkhouse
Pairing:
Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: dub-con (of 'the gamer made me do it' variety), explicit virtual-dragon sex.
Summary: Very AU.  Set inside the world of the Facebook game 'Dragon City'. The List selects dragons, Jensen and Jared, to breed. If you know the basic game principles of Pokemon-style creature games (collecting/breeding/battling) then you're good to go.
Length: 1.1k
Disclaimer: This is all fiction folks, the boys don't belong to me and they aren't getting in my van for candy ladybird blossom any time soon. Dragon City, the dragons and design also don't belong to me. I make no profit from the silliness.
[identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
.




After completing two tough and dark challenges (big bang and evil!Sam) I thought a light cracky, drabble might clear my head before I return to writing some of my neglected projects. So, it's Sunday, sit down, have a coffee with cupcakes, and a 'lil bite of J2.


Title: Forbidden Snack
Author:[livejournal.com profile] anniespinkhouse
Pairing:
Jensen/Jared
Rating: G (All readers)
Warnings: Um, unwise snacking, schmoop
Summary: Non-AU (except J2 are a couple, still living together) Jensen bakes cakes. Jared ignores his instruction not to touch.
Length: Drabble (100 words)
Disclaimer: This is all fiction folks, the boys don't belong to me and they aren't getting in my van for candycakes any time soon.
[identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
I haven't a lot of crack to offer to the crack archive, but there is this.



Title: Black Cat and Broomsticks
Author: [livejournal.com profile] anniespinkhouse
Characters/Pairings:
Jared/Jensen
Genre: au
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: kissing, mature language
Length: ~3.6K
Summary: It's Halloween and Jared has been talked into taking a horde of children trick or treating. The 'haunted house' they call at has an unexpected treat. Featuring vet!Jared, zombie!Jensen (or not), witches, Ronald Macdonald, a pumpkin and a cat.

Fic here

Profile

j2_crack: (Default)
★ say yes to crack! ★

June 2017

S M T W T F S
     123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 28th, 2017 02:56 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios