[personal profile] walking_tornado
Title: Divine Fruit Ltd.
Author: [livejournal.com profile] walking_tornado
Pairing/Genre: Jared/Jensen, RPF AU, crack
Rating: R
Warnings: none

Summary: Jensen is a peach and Jared is a banana. (written for spn_masquerade)

Read at my LJ
[identity profile] keep-waking-up.livejournal.com
Title: The Unconventional Problems of Jared the Human and his Shifter Mate Jensen
Pairing: R
Rating: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 2877
Warnings: fluff, punny song references, abortive attempt at sentient bestiality (by the animal), etc.

Summary: Jared’s got ninety-eight problems, and all of them are male and occasionally feline.

[identity profile] reggie11.livejournal.com
Author: [livejournal.com profile] reggie11
Genre: I don't even know. Fungus ficlet? There's not even a tag that can cover this.
Rating: R
Word count: approx 690

Author's notes: Blame this entirely on [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator. I posted the pic earlier just because I thought it was funny and she demanded I give her mushroom porn! I have no idea if this is what she had in mind because, seriously, how do you write mushroom porn? But, this happened. *runs and hides*

Jared woke, feeling the morning sun kissing the top of his cap. He basked in the warmth for a moment and then opened his eyes. And right there. Right next to him in the garden bed was the most perfect piece of mushroom ass he had ever laid eyes on. Beautiful and shapely, with a hint of freckles dusting those perfect cheeks. He felt his his stipe growing in arousal and his gills quivering at the nearness of such perfection.  And then Mister perfect cheeks spoke.

"Hi, I'm Jensen, I'm new here."

"Um, Jared. I...I noticed," Jared answered. His voice shaking . "Uh, I mean, I haven't seen you around here before."

"Nice bed."

"What?" Jared choked out, releasing a small amount of spores as his body trembled.

"Garden bed. It's really nice." The slightly older mushroom smirked, making Jared blush. It wasn't his fault that he was not quite mature enough that he couldn't completely control his reactions. Some days it only took a strong breeze in the right direction to have him releasing spores all over the place, and Jensen was the hottest shroom he'd ever seen. He blushed even harder.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess."

"So, I think I'm going to like it here, Jared. I noticed you while you were sleeping. Such a nice strong stalk. So I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. You look, like you might be up for some fun, yeah?" Jensen's gaze roamed over him lasciviously, making Jared swell further and release even more spores. Damn his treacherous adolescent responses. "You know, you have the prettiest mushroom head I've seen in the longest time. You know how to use it?"

Jared looked up, braver now that Jensen obviously found him attractive too. "I know enough. What do you have in mind?" He felt a shiver of anticipation run through him.

Jensen leaned forward so that those perfect cheeks were tilted up at just the right angle. So close he could feel the tremors of desire rippling through the older shroom. "C'mon, stud. Show me what you can do with all that youthful exuberance."

"I'm not that much youger than you, you know." Jared pressed forward, just nudging against the cleft of Jensen's perfect ass with a kiss, setting them both aquiver.

"Yeah, come on. Do it." Jensen coaxed breathily.

Jared rubbed himself around Jensen's opening, not quite pushing in yet. Enjoying making his partner squirm.

"You like to tease, huh?I like it. Knew you'd be perfect."

As Jared pressed forward feeling Jensen surrounding him, he almost shot his entire spore-load right there and then. Luckily, Jensen seemed to know how close to losing control he was and saved him from embarrassment. "Don't move yet. You're not a small guy, just uh, give me a minute."

Jared was intensely glad for the reprieve but soon the urge to thrust was almost overwhelming and he started to shake.

"Okay big guy, move already. Show me what you've got." So Jared did.

Afterward, as they lay together in the garden bed, enjoying the afterglow and covered in their mixed spores, Jared had to ask. "Why me? You have the most perfect ass I've ever seen and you could have had your pick of any of the shrooms here. Why did you pick me?"

"What can I say, Jared," Jensen nudged at his cap, a silly smirk on his face. "You looked like a real fungi."

Jared groaned at the pun but couldn't help feeling ridiculously happy, yet a little apprehensive. "So, um, do you think you'll be staying around here for a while?"

Jensen snuggled closer and whispered, "There's no place I'd rather be."


[identity profile] ilikecrystals.livejournal.com

Title: No Place Like Home
Author: ilikecrystals
Pairing: Jared/Jensen/Chad
Rating: R/Mature
WARNING: This story contains Slash, Anal, Oral and Multiple Partners so if you don't like, don't read. Oh yeah and it's really sappy, too.

Summary: REALLY Late fill for Take II j2_crack Halloween Comment-Meme for somersault-j's prompt:

Chad can't believe his freaking luck. On his way home from some lame Halloween party, he finds free porn in the park. Just right there, the huge lion putting his big dick into that chick in the blue dress. Chad, still a little drunk, is sure they won't mind that the scarecrow is about to join them.

"I put a spell on youoooo and now you're miinnnneeee," A hoot owl screeches above him and flies away in disgust as Chad sings the song as loud as he can...

[identity profile] ilikecrystals.livejournal.com

Title: When The Cat's Away
Author: ilikecrystals
Pairing: Jared and Jensen
Rating: R/Mature WARNING: This story contains NON-CON, Anal Sex, Barbs and Rimming so if you don't like, don't read. Oh yeah, and way too much silly and schmoop and ridiculousness. Totally don't know anything about cloning and made up the whole process. Hope you like :)  Don't know whose incredible manip this is but please help me credit if you know who created.

"Just get your shit and get the hell out of here." Jensen stalks out of the room

[identity profile] brokenhighways.livejournal.com
Title: Dive Hard (With A FINgeance)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] brokenhighways
word count: 12K+
rating: R
pairing/characters: j2, chad michael murray, misha collins, katie cassidy, paris hilton, jeffrey dean morgan
warnings: violence, character death (sort of), death of sharks, batshit insanery, inaccurate depiction of sharks, geographical errors, scientific errors, SyFy-esque plot, crazy people, talking animals, language and out dated zingers about Paris Hilton

Summary: [Based on Sharknado] Jared Padalecki is a shark whisperer. Well, that’s what they call him. Technically, you could say that his ability to communicate with sharks does in fact make him a shark whisperer. To Jared, it's a part of him, a gift that he was born with. He doesn't care that he's mocked in the media for being crazy (and having questionable hair). What he cares about is keeping peace between sharks and human beings. It’s too bad that the sharks have other ideas.
Featuring Jensen as a water shifter and Misha as a villainous shark.
[identity profile] herminekurotowa.livejournal.com

Title: The 30-Year-Old Virgin
Author/Artist: [livejournal.com profile] tebtosca
Status of work: completed
Characters and/or pairings: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Warnings, kinks & contents: awkward sexy times, crack-adjacent
Wordcount: 4431
Summary: Jensen is a grumpy virgin sex shop owner. Jared is a male model moonlighting as a pizza delivery guy. This is what happens when they accidentally meet.

Reccer's notes: Nobody eats pizza in this fic. There's a whole bunch of not-so-helpful friends and Chad being Chad. There are condom balloon animals and someone died in a tragic accident involving a ring gag and an overripe plantain. Just read it already! And don't forget to check out [livejournal.com profile] siennavie's cracktastic art (the vid!).
[identity profile] kinkajou.livejournal.com
Title: Mating Instinct
Pairing: J2
Rating: R. ish. I think.
Warnings/kinks: crack, were!Jared, animal traits,... dub-con leg humping?
Summary: Jensen smells like mate. Jared's instincts take over. Jensen is not amused. (illustrated as a cartoon)

silly cartoon AT MY JOURNAL
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: Night at the Zoo
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R (for language? Rating might change later)
Words: ~ 5,800 (this part)

Summary: Jared is a lonely tiger at the zoo who just wants a friend to cuddle with. His quest seems hopeless until he meets panda Jensen
Warnings/Kinks: tiger!Jared and panda!Jensen, crack (obviously), incorrect portrayal of animal life at the zoo and complete and utter schmoop
Disclaimer: The boys don’t belong to me. Do I really need to tell you that this never happened?
Notes: For inspiration, I looked at the panda cam at the San Diego Zoo and several of their videos. You should all go over there and flail over babypanda cuteness.
Thanks to my awesome beta linvro21 for making it pretty.

Part One (Part Two should follow in a couple of days)
[identity profile] dugindeep.livejournal.com
Title: Do You Like Piña Coladas?
Rating: R
Current fic word count: 10,700
Warnings: mentions of gross living conditions and meals (i.e. eating animals and other ogre-related details), slight violence related to dragons
Summary for artist: Life as an ogre ain't grand, but Jensen has carved out his own little corner of the forest. When he's served with an eviction notice, he sets off to fight it, but doesn't expect to encounter a rather annoying donkey who becomes quickly attached to him. And definitely not to become a wee bit attached in return. AKA: a semi-cracky reimagining of Shrek and Donkey
Notes: Written for 2013-14 [livejournal.com profile] dragonbigbang.
[identity profile] linvro21.livejournal.com

Title: In A Brand New West
Author/Artist: [livejournal.com profile] moveablehistory (luckily the story was posted in [livejournal.com profile] thistogether, so it's still available)
Status of work: completed
Characters and/or pairings: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki. Minor OMCs + OFCs, with appearances by Sandy(?) and the The Amazing Mechanic!dogs Sadie and Harley.
Rating: PG, for the most part. Gets R-ish towards the end with a nice PWP finish.
Warnings, kinks & contents: General Narrative Strangeness, "experimental" "writing", a Scene (or several) of Much Discomfort, dubious science and some Fluffy Voyeuristic Porn.
Wordcount: 9100
Summary: Jensen Ackles flies transport all by his lonesome - until the goddamn government agency that was supposed to find him Someone Special ends up finding him Jared Padalecki. IN SPACE.

Reccer's notes: This story was clearly meant as a writing experiment. So, it's mostly bizarre, but also strangely good in a weird kind of way. Who doesn't want to read about Jared as a mail order 'bride' in space?

Preview: )
[identity profile] ilikecrystals.livejournal.com
Title: Lost in the Pieces of My Horseman
Author: ilikecrystals
Pairing: Jared and Jensen
Icon by LightTheSparks, I think
Summary: Fill for 'Kettle of Trouble Halloween Meme' prompt by meus-venator : Jensen hated making deliveries out to Old man Morgan's house....although technically he'd never met Old man Morgan... he'd always had to leave the pizza out on the front porch and collect his money from the envelope left there for him. No, it wasn't old man Morgan he was worried about, it was the creepy drive through the woods.

Especially on Halloween, especially when you lived in Sleepy Hollow and where rumours of the headless horseman still persisted.


A/N and Warnings: So this is by FAR the strangest darn story I've ever written. It's ridiculous and absurd but it's just meant for fun so let your imagination work with me here, okay? It's damn hard writing Headless Horseman sex! I also didn't fill the prompt exactly - it's Jared and Jensen AU instead of Jensen and Jeff but I kept to the rest of it pretty well. This is also late because Halloween is officially over but here it is and I hope you enjoy it.

This story contains SLASH so if you don't like, don't read. As usual, please point out any errors or crap writing so I can fix. I love constructive criticism and reviews so bring 'em!

The call had come in late, after dark, the order handed to him and there was nothing for it but to deliver the damn thing.
[identity profile] ar-richardson.livejournal.com
Parts Four and Five of the "A Little Familiar" Series
: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R (bordering on NC-17)
Warnings: None really, unless you need a warning for snark.
Disclaimer: Obviously not real and not meant to imply reality. This is crack, ladies and gentleman.
Authors Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator's prompt for the Kettle of Trouble meme. This is probably not at all what she had in mind when she gave that prompt, but it's where my warped mind chose to go with it, so here it is... Beta done as always by [livejournal.com profile] bumblebat79
Summary:Ever wonder how sorcerer's wind up with their familiars? Well J1, a mild mannered IT professional is about to discover that J2, the hipster in marketing isn't all he appears and the word 'Master' will never mean the same thing to him again. Here are parts four and five, in which Jared gets a little tied up...

Part Four: A Little Bondage
Part Five: A Little Bonding

And if you want to start at the beginning, here is Part One: A Little Familiar
[identity profile] kinkajou.livejournal.com
title: Little pig, little pig, let me in!
pairing: J2
rating: depends on how dirty your mind is. Mine is, so if you catch everything that is implied, then it is at least R XD
summary: 3 little pigs J2 style, alternative ending
warnings: crack, just a quick sketch, lilpig!jensen + wolf Jared, it is somewhat porny if you squint hard enough it is porny because Jared is trying to rim Jensen. But he looks adorable while doing it.
notes: because [livejournal.com profile] alezig and [livejournal.com profile] debauchedsock played along with my idiotic ideas so now I have to show them.

see at my journal
[identity profile] candygramme.livejournal.com
July hasn't been a good month for me, and I haven't written anything much, but I thought that this might fit into the archive of fun.

Title: Busted
Author [livejournal.com profile] candygramme
Genre: fluff
Rating: r
Wordcount: 1,097
Summary: Steve's going to be away, but he's letting the J's stay at his place for the weekend.

[identity profile] sa-kun.livejournal.com
Title: the art of incubating dragon eggs
Author: sa_kun
Characters/Parings: Jared/Jensen, Misha/Vicky, Felicia Day (minor appearances by Holland Roden, Adrienne Pallicki & Julie McNiven)
Rating: R
Length: 28k
Warnings: There are occasional bouts of violence, blood and death in this fic, but no major characters die. There are indirect and direct mentions of torture and the after-effects, the same with war, but I don't go into graphic details. Some nakedness may occur but again, no details.
Summary: Jared thinks there must be something about him that screams "looking for trouble!" But he's not looking for it. Honest. He can't help it if it seems like everyone wants to hold a knife to his throat these days, or get him involved in mysterious treasure hunts that may or may not have a secret, sinister motive. Or maybe it's the dragon eggs -- the ones he found abandoned in a dilapidated cabin in the woods the other day, all wrapped up in blankets and practically sitting in a fire pit. Yeah, it's probably that, to be fair. And Madthr help him if this Jensen guy, with the too-bright eyes and the occasional claws (not to even mention the dress), isn't just bringing more chaos into his life. It's just... Well... There's something about him, okay? But then again... just what is he, exactly?

A/N: It was suggested to me that I should share my entry for the [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang challenge here. There are dragons it it. Also? Magic, trolls and other wondrous things.
[identity profile] bertee.livejournal.com
Title: Sunset on the Highway [Complete]
Pairing: Jared/Jensen (AU)
Rating: R
Word Count: ~13,500
Warnings: Violence, gore, zombies
Summary: Superhero!Jared and firefighter!Jensen take a roadtrip during the zombie apocalypse.

"I hear the job of 'shirtless handyman' is very spiritually rewarding."
[identity profile] kinkajou.livejournal.com

I'm hope it fits the criteria on its own (or if not, then it's still okay, if the fic that inspired it really-really does:) ) I made art for [livejournal.com profile] ashtraythief's awesome crack!fic which she posted here before. The pic is a bit spoilery, so if you haven't read it yet, then do that first!
the fic is here:
Remember That One Time We Were Locked In a Trunk

and the drawing (NOT SAFE FOR WORK!):

click here to see art
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
So, recently I dabbled a bit in two wonderful commentfic memes, the space commentfic meme from [livejournal.com profile] deirdre and the Summer Schmoop Meme over on [livejournal.com profile] spn_rps, and since they both turned out rather cracky, I thought this is the place to post them ;)

Title: But Jen, it's so fluffy!
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R (for language)
Words: ~1,270

Warnings/Kinks: space and schmoop. Dialogue fic
Summary: space-explorer!Jared likes the furry things they discover, but his boyfriend, space-explorer!Jensen is not amused
Disclaimer: not mine, never happened
Notes: written for [livejournal.com profile] cherie_morte's prompt on [livejournal.com profile] deirdre_c's Space comment fic meme.

Title: Remember That One Time We Were Locked In A Trunk?
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2900

Summary: Jared and Jensen in a trunk, l-o-c-k-e-d i-n.
Warnings/Kinks: none, except kinda schmoopy dirty talk. Dialogue fic. Crack and schmoop. Unbetad.
Disclaimer: definitely not mine. Nope, I had nothing to do with this...
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] linvro21's prompt "J2 locked in a trunk" over at the Summer Schmoop Meme on [livejournal.com profile] spn_rps

You should all go and space and schmoop as well, it's great fun!


j2_crack: (Default)
★ say yes to crack! ★

June 2017



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