3 fics

Jun. 1st, 2017 05:21 pm
walking_tornado: (Default)
[personal profile] walking_tornado
A/N: I'm not great at crossposting, so I have a bit of a backlog. The humour is these is closer to mild slapstick than to true crack, but I think they might belong here anyway. :)

Title: Would-be Thieves
Author: [personal profile] walking_tornado
Beta: [personal profile] firesign10
Genre: RPF non-AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: G
Wordcount: ~1k
Summary: A security guard stumbles upon a tipsy Jared and Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: The Naked Cowboy
Author: [personal profile] walking_tornado
Beta: [personal profile] firesign10
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: ~6k
Summary: Jared’s vacation takes a turn for the better when he snaps a photo of naked Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: Cake Jumping
Author: [personal profile] walking_tornado
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, (implied future Jared/Jensen/JDM)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~800 words
Summary: Jared surprises Jensen on his birthday.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth
[identity profile] somer.livejournal.com
Title: How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] ashtraythief and [livejournal.com profile] somersault_j
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: CRACK, dildos, comment fic collaboration between ash and me
Length: 1.400 words

Summary: Jensen is a total nerd, wearing dino underwear. Jared really likes it.
[identity profile] brokenhighways.livejournal.com
Title: Don't Tickle The Dragon
Author: [livejournal.com profile] brokenhighways
Pairing: J2
Word count: ~24k
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none

Summary: If there’s one thing that Jensen never wants to hear about again in his life, it’s dragons. It sounds bizarre but that’s what happens when you’re in love with an eccentric archaeologist who has a penchant for rambling about dragons when he’s drunk. And when he’s sober. And… well, at any given time of the day. However, Jensen finds himself becoming enamoured when Jared’s given a dragon egg to look after and their lives change drastically.
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: Late Nights at the Zoo
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2,000

Summary: Jared and Jensen really love each other. With Chad’s help, they take the next step.
Warnings/Kinks: tiger!Jared, panda!Jensen, schmoop, porn
Disclaimer: This did not happen. Ever. Seriously.
Notes: This month’s [livejournal.com profile] smpc. Timestamp to Night at the Zoo, in which Jared the tiger falls in love with Jensen the panda and despite zoo fences, they make it work. Written for my kittehs [livejournal.com profile] alycat, [livejournal.com profile] keep_waking_up, and [livejournal.com profile] kinkajou who demanded wished for tiger/panda porn for Christmas Valentine’s. To the absolute surprise to no one, I obliged. I still know nothing about zoo procedures. Many, many thanks for [livejournal.com profile] fiercelynormal for the beta!

This way to the porn!
[identity profile] keep-waking-up.livejournal.com
Title: The Unconventional Problems of Jared the Human and his Shifter Mate Jensen
Pairing: R
Rating: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 2877
Warnings: fluff, punny song references, abortive attempt at sentient bestiality (by the animal), etc.

Summary: Jared’s got ninety-eight problems, and all of them are male and occasionally feline.

[identity profile] junkerin.livejournal.com
Title: The chilli tester
Author: [livejournal.com profile] junkerin
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG 13 (many bad words :-)

Misha didn´t know what he sign up to when he joined Jared and Jensen being judges in a chilly contest.

Crack - fun - not my original story

Okay so I read this story and had tears in my eyes from laughing.

Here is my SPN RPF version. Have fun:
(This is not real, no cast member was harmed)

Read more... )

[identity profile] justmep2.livejournal.com
Please note, This is a SPN vid with a surprise non-AU RPF J2 centered vidlet at the end (around 2:25) that I consider crack. It's not listed on the genres because it's supposed to be a surprise. I'm not a RPS shipper and new to this comm, if this doesn't fit with the community rules please delete it.

Title: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas // Heavenly Christmas
Vidder: [livejournal.com profile] justmep2
Characters: Sam & Dean / Jensen, Jared, Mark and Misha
[John, Mary, Cas, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Kevin, Jody, Garth, Gabriel, Ash AND Jensen, Jared, Misha and Mark. Plus a drunk Santa.]
Genre: Feel-good, fluff, holiday, humor
Pairing: Gen
Rating: PG
Music: Jason Manns ft. Jensen Ackles (!) - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Rock version by Johnny Copland on YouTube
Length: 3.05m
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Summary: What lays in Sam and Dean's heaven? A little fluffy Christmas vid with Jensen singing plus a rocking surprise, so make sure to watch until the end! Because even the Winchesters deserve a break for Christmas. Happy holidays!
[identity profile] tebtosca.livejournal.com
Title: Delicious
Author: [livejournal.com profile] tebtosca
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2131 words
Warnings: Goldilocks!Jensen, Big Bad Wolf Jared, somnophilia (noncon), knotting, wolfy behavior, bastardization of fairy tale characters, crack

Summary: Jensen the Narcoleptic goes in search of the Big Bad Wolf to get his best friend's red cape back.
[identity profile] keep-waking-up.livejournal.com
Title: Bosoms (or the Lack Thereof)
Author: keep_waking_up
Beta: deceptivemirror
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3825
Warnings: uber crack, creature!Jensen, comeplay, wings
A/N: This is an extremely belated birthday present for the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] ashtraythief (and also doubles as my [livejournal.com profile] smpc).  Hopefully you enjoy the cracky goodness!
Summary: In which Jared’s king sends him out to a woo a maiden for him and the maiden turns out not to be a maiden.

[identity profile] reggie11.livejournal.com
Author: [livejournal.com profile] reggie11
Genre: I don't even know. Fungus ficlet? There's not even a tag that can cover this.
Rating: R
Word count: approx 690

Author's notes: Blame this entirely on [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator. I posted the pic earlier just because I thought it was funny and she demanded I give her mushroom porn! I have no idea if this is what she had in mind because, seriously, how do you write mushroom porn? But, this happened. *runs and hides*

Jared woke, feeling the morning sun kissing the top of his cap. He basked in the warmth for a moment and then opened his eyes. And right there. Right next to him in the garden bed was the most perfect piece of mushroom ass he had ever laid eyes on. Beautiful and shapely, with a hint of freckles dusting those perfect cheeks. He felt his his stipe growing in arousal and his gills quivering at the nearness of such perfection.  And then Mister perfect cheeks spoke.

"Hi, I'm Jensen, I'm new here."

"Um, Jared. I...I noticed," Jared answered. His voice shaking . "Uh, I mean, I haven't seen you around here before."

"Nice bed."

"What?" Jared choked out, releasing a small amount of spores as his body trembled.

"Garden bed. It's really nice." The slightly older mushroom smirked, making Jared blush. It wasn't his fault that he was not quite mature enough that he couldn't completely control his reactions. Some days it only took a strong breeze in the right direction to have him releasing spores all over the place, and Jensen was the hottest shroom he'd ever seen. He blushed even harder.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess."

"So, I think I'm going to like it here, Jared. I noticed you while you were sleeping. Such a nice strong stalk. So I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. You look, like you might be up for some fun, yeah?" Jensen's gaze roamed over him lasciviously, making Jared swell further and release even more spores. Damn his treacherous adolescent responses. "You know, you have the prettiest mushroom head I've seen in the longest time. You know how to use it?"

Jared looked up, braver now that Jensen obviously found him attractive too. "I know enough. What do you have in mind?" He felt a shiver of anticipation run through him.

Jensen leaned forward so that those perfect cheeks were tilted up at just the right angle. So close he could feel the tremors of desire rippling through the older shroom. "C'mon, stud. Show me what you can do with all that youthful exuberance."

"I'm not that much youger than you, you know." Jared pressed forward, just nudging against the cleft of Jensen's perfect ass with a kiss, setting them both aquiver.

"Yeah, come on. Do it." Jensen coaxed breathily.

Jared rubbed himself around Jensen's opening, not quite pushing in yet. Enjoying making his partner squirm.

"You like to tease, huh?I like it. Knew you'd be perfect."

As Jared pressed forward feeling Jensen surrounding him, he almost shot his entire spore-load right there and then. Luckily, Jensen seemed to know how close to losing control he was and saved him from embarrassment. "Don't move yet. You're not a small guy, just uh, give me a minute."

Jared was intensely glad for the reprieve but soon the urge to thrust was almost overwhelming and he started to shake.

"Okay big guy, move already. Show me what you've got." So Jared did.

Afterward, as they lay together in the garden bed, enjoying the afterglow and covered in their mixed spores, Jared had to ask. "Why me? You have the most perfect ass I've ever seen and you could have had your pick of any of the shrooms here. Why did you pick me?"

"What can I say, Jared," Jensen nudged at his cap, a silly smirk on his face. "You looked like a real fungi."

Jared groaned at the pun but couldn't help feeling ridiculously happy, yet a little apprehensive. "So, um, do you think you'll be staying around here for a while?"

Jensen snuggled closer and whispered, "There's no place I'd rather be."


[identity profile] tebtosca.livejournal.com
Title: My Zombie and Me
Author: [livejournal.com profile] tebtosca
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2226 words
Warnings: cracky psuedo-zombie necro

Summary: IT tech Jared finds The Walking Dead fanfic on his work crush's computer and decides to do something about it.
[identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
Title: The Great Escape
Author:[livejournal.com profile] anniespinkhouse
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: crack, abuse (but bear with me)
Summary: Set in the au of the S9 mockumentary and won't make much sense unless you've seen that.
"Jared says he loves him..."
Length: Drabble (100 words)
Disclaimer: This is all fiction folks. The boys and their alter egos don't belong to me.

{LJ} {AO3}
[identity profile] heartblowswild.livejournal.com
Title: The Pretty Pretty Peacock
Author: [livejournal.com profile] heartblowswild
Pairing: J2
Rating: PG
Summary: Based on this prompt from [livejournal.com profile] spn_masquerade: Jensen is a werepeacock. Jared is a wereflamingo. Strangeness ensues. They aren’t weres in this fic though, just a flamingo trying to attract the love of his life, a peacock. The art is better. Go see it here: Love Birds by [livejournal.com profile] kinkajou.

The Pretty Pretty Peacock
[identity profile] tebtosca.livejournal.com
Title: The Laws of Refraction
Author name: [livejournal.com profile] tebtosca
Artist name: [livejournal.com profile] lightthesparks
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jeff/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 21,360

Summary:Following the assassination of their rival fathers, Princes Jared and Jensen are forced into marriage to stop full-out intergalactic war. Yet, things don't go quite as planned when the space pirate ex-boyfriend of one of the bridegrooms decides to stage an impromptu "rescue" mission that sets off a series of events that have consequences far beyond a single wedding ceremony. After all, no one said space diplomacy was easy.


[identity profile] brokenhighways.livejournal.com
Title: Dive Hard (With A FINgeance)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] brokenhighways
word count: 12K+
rating: R
pairing/characters: j2, chad michael murray, misha collins, katie cassidy, paris hilton, jeffrey dean morgan
warnings: violence, character death (sort of), death of sharks, batshit insanery, inaccurate depiction of sharks, geographical errors, scientific errors, SyFy-esque plot, crazy people, talking animals, language and out dated zingers about Paris Hilton

Summary: [Based on Sharknado] Jared Padalecki is a shark whisperer. Well, that’s what they call him. Technically, you could say that his ability to communicate with sharks does in fact make him a shark whisperer. To Jared, it's a part of him, a gift that he was born with. He doesn't care that he's mocked in the media for being crazy (and having questionable hair). What he cares about is keeping peace between sharks and human beings. It’s too bad that the sharks have other ideas.
Featuring Jensen as a water shifter and Misha as a villainous shark.
[identity profile] ashtraythief.livejournal.com
Title: In the Land Before Time: If We Hold On Together
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, side Chad/Sophia
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~5,700

Summary: Jared and Jensen have settled into life in their new territory. With settling down new problems arise, but an unforeseen event brings them closer together than ever. Or: How they expanded the herd again.
Warnings/Kinks: crack and schmoop in abundance, dino-sex, switching, general inappropriateness when it comes to the dealing with childhood memories and minor dino death
Disclaimer: No dinosaurs were harmed in the writing of this fic
Notes: Written in honor of [livejournal.com profile] cassiopeia7’s birthday. I saw it was coming up and it reminded me of this idea I had, which I then had to write even though I’m supposed to be doing other things. Oh well, hope you enjoy!
Title taken from the Land Before Time soundtrack. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] linvro21 for the speedy beta!

Part three in the Dinosaur Chronoicles, following In The Land Before Time and In The Land Before Time: The Wisdom Of Friends.
[identity profile] kinkajou.livejournal.com
title: You're not too spiky, you're perfect!
pairing: J2
rating: PG-13 for very light... armadillo!dirty talk... sexual innuendo... whatever :) The pic is entirely SFW :)
warnings: dunno. porcupine!Jensen and armadillo!Jared need a warning?
summary: Jensen's life as a porcupine has been hard. It is quite possible that he will die as a virgin, because really, who would want to have sex with someone whose back is full of long, dangerous spikes? But one day he meets Jared, who doesn't seem to care about his quills, and loves him just the way he is.

see cute J2 at my JOURNAL
[identity profile] kinkajou.livejournal.com
Title: Mating Instinct
Pairing: J2
Rating: R. ish. I think.
Warnings/kinks: crack, were!Jared, animal traits,... dub-con leg humping?
Summary: Jensen smells like mate. Jared's instincts take over. Jensen is not amused. (illustrated as a cartoon)

silly cartoon AT MY JOURNAL


j2_crack: (Default)
★ say yes to crack! ★

June 2017



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