j2_crack | Entries tagged with jared padalecki

A/N: I'm not great at crossposting, so I have a bit of a backlog. The humour is these is closer to mild slapstick than to true crack, but I think they might belong here anyway. :)

Title: Would-be Thieves
Author:

walking_tornado
Beta:

firesign10
Genre: RPF non-AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: G
Wordcount: ~1k
Summary: A security guard stumbles upon a tipsy Jared and Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: The Naked Cowboy
Author:

walking_tornado
Beta:

firesign10
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: ~6k
Summary: Jared’s vacation takes a turn for the better when he snaps a photo of naked Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: Cake Jumping
Author:

walking_tornado
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, (implied future Jared/Jensen/JDM)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~800 words
Summary: Jared surprises Jensen on his birthday.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Tags:

fanboi214.livejournal.com

Title: We Could Be Heroes (Ch 2)
Pairing: Jared/Jensen(/Jensen/Jensen)
Warnings: None
Rating: Pg-13 at the second (plan to go NC-17 in the final chapter though)
Summary: Jensen cannot decide what costume to wear to the annual Supernatural Halloween party, not that it matters. Jensen is too busy to attend anyway. When he jokingly tells Jared he wishes he could send a clone in his place things get weird.
Word Count: 3,364

Tags:

fanboi214.livejournal.com

Title: We Could Be Heroes
Pairing: Jared/Jensen(/Jensen/Jensen)
Warnings: None
Rating: G for now (plan to go NC-17 in the final chapter though)
Summary: Jensen cannot decide what costume to wear to the annual Supernatural Halloween party, not that it matters. Jensen is too busy to attend anyway. When he jokingly tells Jared he wishes he could send a clone in his place things get weird.
Word Count: 837

http://fanboi214.livejournal.com/11630.html

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: The Giant Knitted Condom
Author:

walking_tornado
Genre: J2 AU, Crack
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1k
Warnings: none

Summary: Jared knits himself a sock with yarn!Jensen.

Read HERE

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Divine Fruit Ltd.
Author:

walking_tornado
Pairing/Genre: Jared/Jensen, RPF AU, crack
Rating: R
Warnings: none

Summary: Jensen is a peach and Jared is a banana. (written for spn_masquerade)

Read at my LJ

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Better Than a Chocolate Bunny
Author:

walking_tornado
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Wordcount: 1.3k
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none

Summary: Jensen one-ups the Easter Bunny.

Read at my LJ

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: Dragon Heart
Author:

meus_venator
Beta/Editor:

fufaraw
Fandom: Supernatural RPF
Characters: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG
Words: 4,500
Summary: The strange new world they had awoken in had turned suddenly cold.
Warnings: crackish, angsty, fairytale, dystopian world
A/N: Inspired by a photo

fufaraw found and sent me from tumblr

LJ | A03

* * *

It was late fall, and in the morning when the sky finally lightened there was no hint of sun, the horizon a dark and menacing grey. The previous night had been brutal, the third day in a row that the temperatures had plummeted mercilessly at sunset, and Jensen knew that many of their ranks would not have survived the night.

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: Sheepehs, Clouds, Puffs, and Fluffs
Author/Artist:

keep_waking_up
Status of work: completed
Characters and/or pairings: JDM/JP
Rating: NC-17
Warnings, kinks & contents: werelion!Jared, fluff, outsider (sheep) POV, age difference
Wordcount: 3019
Summary: Even with a mate, Jeff still has to hunt. That doesn’t mean Jared’s happy about it.

Reccer's notes: Alway a great writer keep_waking_up gifts us with a particularly lovely piece here. It starts with JDM, a bit at his wits end coping with his new and overly exuberant (as only Jared could be) werelion mate.

keep_waking_up spins this tale with a particularly deft hand and the tone is pitch perfect in its portray of kindly, and a little overwrought JDM. The shift to the Morgan sheeps POV was wonderfuly unexpected and brilliantly handled. She manages to easily capture all the enthusiasm and innocent charm of Jared the werelion as he struggles with a new language and culture, all the while imparting his absolute adoration of his mate. A charming, delightful story, beautifully crafted. You should go read.

Note: This is the second story in the series but it was so much fun dropping in in the middle. The first fic that kicked off this story is here: The Fluff Hunter.

Tags:

ashtraythief.livejournal.com

Title: Late Nights at the Zoo
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2,000

Summary: Jared and Jensen really love each other. With Chad’s help, they take the next step.
Warnings/Kinks: tiger!Jared, panda!Jensen, schmoop, porn
Disclaimer: This did not happen. Ever. Seriously.
Notes: This month’s

smpc. Timestamp to Night at the Zoo, in which Jared the tiger falls in love with Jensen the panda and despite zoo fences, they make it work. Written for my kittehs

alycat,

keep_waking_up, and

kinkajou who ~~demanded~~ wished for tiger/panda porn for ~~Christmas~~ Valentine’s. To the absolute surprise to no one, I obliged. I still know nothing about zoo procedures. Many, many thanks for

fiercelynormal for the beta!

This way to the porn!

Tags:

ashtraythief.livejournal.com

Title: The S&M Adventures
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~1,800

Summary: When Gerald Slicer watched the squirrel in his backyard, it should have made him suspicious. It didn’t. It was the last mistake he ever made.
Warnings/Kink: moose!jared, squirrel!Jensen, violence, minor character death, sex (yes, I am not kidding), partly outsider POV
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of this. In fact, I still don’t believe I’ve written this. I am definitely making no profit off of this.
Notes: So I’m trying to write a fic that should have been done ages ago. It just won’t flow. Then my roommate sneezed like a homicidal rodent and this happened. I don’t know, people. I think this might be the most insane thing I’ve ever written. And I’ve written dino porn. You have been warned.
Thank you, so much, to my steadfast beta

linvro21 who puts up with all my weirdness without batting an eye. Or so she claims… All remaining mistakes are clingy bastards.

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Holding his own
Author:

walking_tornado
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: J2 AU, Crack
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: cursed objects (and associated non-con), restraints, blowjob, animated inanimate objects (and unanimated animate objects). Minimal plot.
Length: ~6.7k

Summary: An unexpected visit results in a curse on Jensen's sex toys. (A sequel to The Garden Gnome)

Link to fic on LJ
Link to fic on AO3

Tags:

justmep2.livejournal.com

Please note, This is a SPN vid with a surprise non-AU RPF J2 centered vidlet at the end (around 2:25) that I consider crack. It's not listed on the genres because it's supposed to be a surprise. I'm not a RPS shipper and new to this comm, if this doesn't fit with the community rules please delete it.

Title: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas // Heavenly Christmas

Vidder:

justmep2

Characters: Sam & Dean / Jensen, Jared, Mark and Misha

[John, Mary, Cas, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Kevin, Jody, Garth, Gabriel, Ash AND Jensen, Jared, Misha and Mark. Plus a drunk Santa.]

Genre: Feel-good, fluff, holiday, humor

Pairing: Gen

Rating: PG

Music: Jason Manns ft. Jensen Ackles (!) - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Rock version by Johnny Copland on YouTube

Length: 3.05m

Spoilers: None

Warnings: None

Summary: What lays in Sam and Dean's heaven? A little fluffy Christmas vid with Jensen singing plus a rocking surprise, so make sure to watch until the end! Because even the Winchesters deserve a break for Christmas. Happy holidays!

Vid this way >

Tags:

tebtosca.livejournal.com

Title: Delicious
Author:

tebtosca
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2131 words
Warnings: Goldilocks!Jensen, Big Bad Wolf Jared, somnophilia (noncon), knotting, wolfy behavior, bastardization of fairy tale characters, crack

Summary: Jensen the Narcoleptic goes in search of the Big Bad Wolf to get his best friend's red cape back.

Tags:

ilikecrystals.livejournal.com

Title: No Place Like Home
Author: ilikecrystals
Pairing: Jared/Jensen/Chad
Rating: R/Mature
WARNING: This story contains Slash, Anal, Oral and Multiple Partners so if you don't like, don't read. Oh yeah and it's really sappy, too.

Summary: REALLY Late fill for Take II j2_crack Halloween Comment-Meme for somersault-j's prompt:

Chad can't believe his freaking luck. On his way home from some lame Halloween party, he finds free porn in the park. Just right there, the huge lion putting his big dick into that chick in the blue dress. Chad, still a little drunk, is sure they won't mind that the scarecrow is about to join them.

"I put a spell on youoooo and now you're miinnnneeee," A hoot owl screeches above him and flies away in disgust as Chad sings the song as loud as he can...

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: Jay Skellington, the loneliest Pumpkin King
Author: meus_venator
Beta: fufaraw
Paring: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Crack fic, RPS AU
Rating: NC-17
Length: 7k
Disclaimer: No harm is intended by this story is written only for fun and does not in any way resemble or is meant to represent two underwear models who fight demons on TV. Any similarity is purely co-incidental.
Warnings: crack fic, M/M sex, and lots of schmoop

Summary: Jared had never had much luck at dating. Being the Pumpkin King only seemed to make things worse.

Written for: j2_crack Kettle of Trouble Part II meme
LJ | AO3

: : :

Jared had tried dating, seriously he had, but things had not gone well for him so far. For a guy that had handled the design, implementation, and rollout of Halloween for the last several hundred flawless years, it was amazing how awkward and bumbly he could be on a date. It’s not that he never had any sex, far from it, Jared was a red blooded Skeleton King from a long line of bone daddies. It was just that somehow things would always go sideways, and he was beginning to worry that he would never find that perfect someone to spend the rest of his Halloweens with.

Tags:

meus_venator

I just found this website selling Saxx underwear. Surprisingly affordable actually. I thought they might be $60 a pair or something, then I saw the outrageous blue/yellow pair and wondered, what styles might Jared have in his sock drawer. We've all seen glimpses of his black underwear at the Con's but that's just because he doesn't want any fangirls to spontaneiously explode. So what kind do you think he wears around in the house, what style does he REALLY like to wear hmmmm?( Read more... )

Tags:

meus_venator

everything1s_zpsde26e244

Title: Watch Me
Author: meus_venator
Beta: fufaraw
Paring: surveillance camera!Jared/ surveillance camera!Jensen
Genre: RPF AU, crack!fic
Rating: PG
Length: 5,500
Warnings: Inanimate object J's
Summary: Jensen was a top of the line video surveillance camera, until he wasn’t.

Author’s Note: This was prompted by a video cam gif by everything1s that was posted by big_heart_june and I immediately thought of J2 surveillance camera fic...
* shakes head * I’m so far gone I see them in everything, at least I’m not alone.
So it seems only right to gift this fic to big_heart_june, not only for inspiring it to begin with, but because she is the enabler of all things J2 and fuels us daily with awesome images and snippets about the boys.
Thank you for sharing the bounty hon!

gif by everything1s

: : :

Jensen had always taken his career in security seriously, for him it wasn’t just a job it was a calling. Maybe because his dad had been part of Nasa’s JPL Sentry System program from the early sixties patrolling and protecting earth, but for whatever reason, a career in security was hardwired into him. It ran in other parts of the family too, with his mom and grandmother also coming from a strong if slightly lower profile surveillance background.

Tags:

ephermeralk.livejournal.com

We got some wonderful fills over at the J2 Mockumentary and Gag Reel comment-fic meme.

In case you missed any of these wonderful fills here's a quick list of all the ones that we received:
( Click for the list )

A HUGE THANKS from me, and

sleepypercy to everyone who came out to prompt, write, or comment! We had so much fun, and hope you did too!!

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: The Jared 
Author:

meus_venator 
Beta:

fufaraw
Genre: SPN RPS
Pairings: Jared/Jensen 
Rating: NC-17 
Warnings, kinks & contents: inanimate object!Jared, dildo!Jared
Length: 9,700 words
Written for:

kinkyheels
Prompt: Jared is a bad boy prince. Love 'em and leave 'em. Loves to deflower all the pretty princesses. Well turns out, one of them was under the protection of a powerful witch and she punishes Jared by turning him into something far more useful than a philandering prince.
LJ | AO3

: : :

Jared the Fair gazed critically at himself in his gold framed mirror. He tossed his head back in a carefully practiced gesture designed to show off his long luxuriant locks to best advantage. Then he allowed a slow, artless smile to spread across his face. Satisfied with the results, he threw in a small laugh, dimples on full display as his gaze traveled up and down his reflection, his eyes narrowing slightly, in a look of feigned interest.

Perfect, just perfect. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

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★ say yes to crack! ★

Entries tagged with jared padalecki

3 fics

We Could Be Heroes (Ch 2)

Fic: We Could Be Heroes

fic: The Giant Knitted Condom

fic: Divine Fruit Ltd.

fic: Better Than a Chocolate Bunny

Dragon Heart | Jensen/Jared | AU PG

Cracked rec: Sheepehs, Clouds, Puffs, and Fluffs by keep_waking_up

Fic: Late Nights at the Zoo

Fic: The S&M Adventures

Fic: Holding His Own

[Vid] Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

FIC: Delicious (Jared/Jensen, NC-17)

No Place Like Home

The Garden Gnome

Jay Skellington, the loneliest Pumpkin King, Jared/Jensen, R

Saxx: What style do you think Jared wears when he's not at a Con?

Watch Me, Video surveillance cameras!Jared and Jensen, PG

J2 Mockumentary and Gag Reel Comment-fic fills

The Jared, J2, NC-17

Profile

October 2017

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