★ say yes to crack! ★

Author: reggie11
Genre: I don't even know. Fungus ficlet? There's not even a tag that can cover this.
Rating: R
Word count: approx 690

Author's notes: Blame this entirely on meus_venator. I posted the pic earlier just because I thought it was funny and she demanded I give her mushroom porn! I have no idea if this is what she had in mind because, seriously, how do you write mushroom porn? But, this happened. *runs and hides*

Jared woke, feeling the morning sun kissing the top of his cap. He basked in the warmth for a moment and then opened his eyes. And right there. Right next to him in the garden bed was the most perfect piece of mushroom ass he had ever laid eyes on. Beautiful and shapely, with a hint of freckles dusting those perfect cheeks. He felt his his stipe growing in arousal and his gills quivering at the nearness of such perfection.  And then Mister perfect cheeks spoke.

"Hi, I'm Jensen, I'm new here."

"Um, Jared. I...I noticed," Jared answered. His voice shaking . "Uh, I mean, I haven't seen you around here before."

"Nice bed."

"What?" Jared choked out, releasing a small amount of spores as his body trembled.

"Garden bed. It's really nice." The slightly older mushroom smirked, making Jared blush. It wasn't his fault that he was not quite mature enough that he couldn't completely control his reactions. Some days it only took a strong breeze in the right direction to have him releasing spores all over the place, and Jensen was the hottest shroom he'd ever seen. He blushed even harder.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess."

"So, I think I'm going to like it here, Jared. I noticed you while you were sleeping. Such a nice strong stalk. So I thought I'd come over and introduce myself. You look, like you might be up for some fun, yeah?" Jensen's gaze roamed over him lasciviously, making Jared swell further and release even more spores. Damn his treacherous adolescent responses. "You know, you have the prettiest mushroom head I've seen in the longest time. You know how to use it?"

Jared looked up, braver now that Jensen obviously found him attractive too. "I know enough. What do you have in mind?" He felt a shiver of anticipation run through him.

Jensen leaned forward so that those perfect cheeks were tilted up at just the right angle. So close he could feel the tremors of desire rippling through the older shroom. "C'mon, stud. Show me what you can do with all that youthful exuberance."

"I'm not that much youger than you, you know." Jared pressed forward, just nudging against the cleft of Jensen's perfect ass with a kiss, setting them both aquiver.

"Yeah, come on. Do it." Jensen coaxed breathily.

Jared rubbed himself around Jensen's opening, not quite pushing in yet. Enjoying making his partner squirm.

"You like to tease, huh?I like it. Knew you'd be perfect."

As Jared pressed forward feeling Jensen surrounding him, he almost shot his entire spore-load right there and then. Luckily, Jensen seemed to know how close to losing control he was and saved him from embarrassment. "Don't move yet. You're not a small guy, just uh, give me a minute."

Jared was intensely glad for the reprieve but soon the urge to thrust was almost overwhelming and he started to shake.

"Okay big guy, move already. Show me what you've got." So Jared did.

Afterward, as they lay together in the garden bed, enjoying the afterglow and covered in their mixed spores, Jared had to ask. "Why me? You have the most perfect ass I've ever seen and you could have had your pick of any of the shrooms here. Why did you pick me?"

"What can I say, Jared," Jensen nudged at his cap, a silly smirk on his face. "You looked like a real fungi."

Jared groaned at the pun but couldn't help feeling ridiculously happy, yet a little apprehensive. "So, um, do you think you'll be staying around here for a while?"

Jensen snuggled closer and whispered, "There's no place I'd rather be."

Fin