j2_crack | Entries tagged with rating:nc-17

A/N: I'm not great at crossposting, so I have a bit of a backlog. The humour is these is closer to mild slapstick than to true crack, but I think they might belong here anyway. :)

Title: Would-be Thieves
Author:

walking_tornado
Beta:

firesign10
Genre: RPF non-AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: G
Wordcount: ~1k
Summary: A security guard stumbles upon a tipsy Jared and Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: The Naked Cowboy
Author:

walking_tornado
Beta:

firesign10
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: ~6k
Summary: Jared’s vacation takes a turn for the better when he snaps a photo of naked Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: Cake Jumping
Author:

walking_tornado
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, (implied future Jared/Jensen/JDM)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~800 words
Summary: Jared surprises Jensen on his birthday.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: The Giant Knitted Condom
Author:

walking_tornado
Genre: J2 AU, Crack
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1k
Warnings: none

Summary: Jared knits himself a sock with yarn!Jensen.

Read HERE

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Better Than a Chocolate Bunny
Author:

walking_tornado
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Wordcount: 1.3k
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none

Summary: Jensen one-ups the Easter Bunny.

Read at my LJ

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: Sheepehs, Clouds, Puffs, and Fluffs
Author/Artist:

keep_waking_up
Status of work: completed
Characters and/or pairings: JDM/JP
Rating: NC-17
Warnings, kinks & contents: werelion!Jared, fluff, outsider (sheep) POV, age difference
Wordcount: 3019
Summary: Even with a mate, Jeff still has to hunt. That doesn’t mean Jared’s happy about it.

Reccer's notes: Alway a great writer keep_waking_up gifts us with a particularly lovely piece here. It starts with JDM, a bit at his wits end coping with his new and overly exuberant (as only Jared could be) werelion mate.

keep_waking_up spins this tale with a particularly deft hand and the tone is pitch perfect in its portray of kindly, and a little overwrought JDM. The shift to the Morgan sheeps POV was wonderfuly unexpected and brilliantly handled. She manages to easily capture all the enthusiasm and innocent charm of Jared the werelion as he struggles with a new language and culture, all the while imparting his absolute adoration of his mate. A charming, delightful story, beautifully crafted. You should go read.

Note: This is the second story in the series but it was so much fun dropping in in the middle. The first fic that kicked off this story is here: The Fluff Hunter.

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Shishkabobbing the Tikka
Author:

walking_tornado
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: AU, Crack
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: food PWP
Length: ~700

Summary: Jensen is a chicken tikka. Jared is a shishkabob. They fuse.

Read here.

Tags:

somer.livejournal.com

Title: How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms
Authors:

ashtraythief and

somersault_j
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: CRACK, dildos, comment fic collaboration between ash and me
Length: 1.400 words

Summary: Jensen is a total nerd, wearing dino underwear. Jared really likes it.

Tags:

ashtraythief.livejournal.com

Title: Late Nights at the Zoo
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2,000

Summary: Jared and Jensen really love each other. With Chad’s help, they take the next step.
Warnings/Kinks: tiger!Jared, panda!Jensen, schmoop, porn
Disclaimer: This did not happen. Ever. Seriously.
Notes: This month’s

smpc. Timestamp to Night at the Zoo, in which Jared the tiger falls in love with Jensen the panda and despite zoo fences, they make it work. Written for my kittehs

alycat,

keep_waking_up, and

kinkajou who ~~demanded~~ wished for tiger/panda porn for ~~Christmas~~ Valentine’s. To the absolute surprise to no one, I obliged. I still know nothing about zoo procedures. Many, many thanks for

fiercelynormal for the beta!

This way to the porn!

Tags:

ashtraythief.livejournal.com

Title: The S&M Adventures
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~1,800

Summary: When Gerald Slicer watched the squirrel in his backyard, it should have made him suspicious. It didn’t. It was the last mistake he ever made.
Warnings/Kink: moose!jared, squirrel!Jensen, violence, minor character death, sex (yes, I am not kidding), partly outsider POV
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of this. In fact, I still don’t believe I’ve written this. I am definitely making no profit off of this.
Notes: So I’m trying to write a fic that should have been done ages ago. It just won’t flow. Then my roommate sneezed like a homicidal rodent and this happened. I don’t know, people. I think this might be the most insane thing I’ve ever written. And I’ve written dino porn. You have been warned.
Thank you, so much, to my steadfast beta

linvro21 who puts up with all my weirdness without batting an eye. Or so she claims… All remaining mistakes are clingy bastards.

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Holding his own
Author:

walking_tornado
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: J2 AU, Crack
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: cursed objects (and associated non-con), restraints, blowjob, animated inanimate objects (and unanimated animate objects). Minimal plot.
Length: ~6.7k

Summary: An unexpected visit results in a curse on Jensen's sex toys. (A sequel to The Garden Gnome)

Link to fic on LJ
Link to fic on AO3

Tags:

tebtosca.livejournal.com

Title: Delicious
Author:

tebtosca
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2131 words
Warnings: Goldilocks!Jensen, Big Bad Wolf Jared, somnophilia (noncon), knotting, wolfy behavior, bastardization of fairy tale characters, crack

Summary: Jensen the Narcoleptic goes in search of the Big Bad Wolf to get his best friend's red cape back.

Tags:

keep-waking-up.livejournal.com

Title: Bosoms (or the Lack Thereof)

Author: keep_waking_up

Beta: deceptivemirror

Pairing: Jared/Jensen

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 3825

Warnings: uber crack, creature!Jensen, comeplay, wings

A/N: This is an extremely belated birthday present for the wonderful

ashtraythief (and also doubles as my

smpc). Hopefully you enjoy the cracky goodness!

Summary: In which Jared’s king sends him out to a woo a maiden for him and the maiden turns out not to be a maiden.

READ HERE

Tags:

ilikecrystals.livejournal.com

Title: No Place Like Home
Author: ilikecrystals
Pairing: Jared/Jensen/Chad
Rating: R/Mature
WARNING: This story contains Slash, Anal, Oral and Multiple Partners so if you don't like, don't read. Oh yeah and it's really sappy, too.

Summary: REALLY Late fill for Take II j2_crack Halloween Comment-Meme for somersault-j's prompt:

Chad can't believe his freaking luck. On his way home from some lame Halloween party, he finds free porn in the park. Just right there, the huge lion putting his big dick into that chick in the blue dress. Chad, still a little drunk, is sure they won't mind that the scarecrow is about to join them.

"I put a spell on youoooo and now you're miinnnneeee," A hoot owl screeches above him and flies away in disgust as Chad sings the song as loud as he can...

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: Jay Skellington, the loneliest Pumpkin King
Author: meus_venator
Beta: fufaraw
Paring: Jared/Jensen
Genre: Crack fic, RPS AU
Rating: NC-17
Length: 7k
Disclaimer: No harm is intended by this story is written only for fun and does not in any way resemble or is meant to represent two underwear models who fight demons on TV. Any similarity is purely co-incidental.
Warnings: crack fic, M/M sex, and lots of schmoop

Summary: Jared had never had much luck at dating. Being the Pumpkin King only seemed to make things worse.

Written for: j2_crack Kettle of Trouble Part II meme
LJ | AO3

: : :

Jared had tried dating, seriously he had, but things had not gone well for him so far. For a guy that had handled the design, implementation, and rollout of Halloween for the last several hundred flawless years, it was amazing how awkward and bumbly he could be on a date. It’s not that he never had any sex, far from it, Jared was a red blooded Skeleton King from a long line of bone daddies. It was just that somehow things would always go sideways, and he was beginning to worry that he would never find that perfect someone to spend the rest of his Halloweens with.

Tags:

tebtosca.livejournal.com

Title: My Zombie and Me
Author:

tebtosca
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2226 words
Warnings: cracky psuedo-zombie necro

Summary: IT tech Jared finds The Walking Dead fanfic on his work crush's computer and decides to do something about it.

Tags:

ephermeralk.livejournal.com

Title: Under the Sea
Rating: NC-17ish?
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: ~1k
Warnings: orca-porn, prehensile orca-penises, and suicidal halibut

Summary: Jared really wants to touch fins with that hot Orca he's seen swimming around.

A/n: I'm blaming my flist for this. Ladies. You know who you are. Read at your own risk.

Jared took a deep breath before he plunged deep into the cool water off the San Juan Islands.

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: The Jared 
Author:

meus_venator 
Beta:

fufaraw
Genre: SPN RPS
Pairings: Jared/Jensen 
Rating: NC-17 
Warnings, kinks & contents: inanimate object!Jared, dildo!Jared
Length: 9,700 words
Written for:

kinkyheels
Prompt: Jared is a bad boy prince. Love 'em and leave 'em. Loves to deflower all the pretty princesses. Well turns out, one of them was under the protection of a powerful witch and she punishes Jared by turning him into something far more useful than a philandering prince.
LJ | AO3

: : :

Jared the Fair gazed critically at himself in his gold framed mirror. He tossed his head back in a carefully practiced gesture designed to show off his long luxuriant locks to best advantage. Then he allowed a slow, artless smile to spread across his face. Satisfied with the results, he threw in a small laugh, dimples on full display as his gaze traveled up and down his reflection, his eyes narrowing slightly, in a look of feigned interest.

Perfect, just perfect. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Tags:

tebtosca.livejournal.com

Title: The Laws of Refraction
Author name:

tebtosca
Artist name:

lightthesparks
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jeff/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 21,360

Summary:Following the assassination of their rival fathers, Princes Jared and Jensen are forced into marriage to stop full-out intergalactic war. Yet, things don't go quite as planned when the space pirate ex-boyfriend of one of the bridegrooms decides to stage an impromptu "rescue" mission that sets off a series of events that have consequences far beyond a single wedding ceremony. After all, no one said space diplomacy was easy.

FIC MASTERPOST = ART MASTERPOST

bannersmall

Tags:

keep-waking-up.livejournal.com

Title: Purple Satin

Author:

keep_waking_up

Beta:

deceptivemirror

Pairing: Jared/Jensen

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 5,013

Warnings: crack, fluff, vampire!Jared, light blood!play, staking of a vampire (not Jared), some crude language

Summary: Written for kinkajou. Jensen was only down at the vamp club on a hunt. Some weirdly cheerful vegetarian vamp flirting with him was definitely not in the plans.

READ HERE

Tags:

ashtraythief.livejournal.com

Title: In the Land Before Time: If We Hold On Together
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, side Chad/Sophia
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~5,700

Summary: Jared and Jensen have settled into life in their new territory. With settling down new problems arise, but an unforeseen event brings them closer together than ever. Or: How they expanded the herd again.
Warnings/Kinks: crack and schmoop in abundance, dino-sex, switching, general inappropriateness when it comes to the dealing with childhood memories and minor dino death
Disclaimer: No dinosaurs were harmed in the writing of this fic
Notes: Written in honor of

cassiopeia7’s birthday. I saw it was coming up and it reminded me of this idea I had, which I then had to write even though I’m supposed to be doing other things. Oh well, hope you enjoy!
Title taken from the Land Before Time soundtrack. Thanks to

linvro21 for the speedy beta!

Part three in the Dinosaur Chronoicles, following In The Land Before Time and In The Land Before Time: The Wisdom Of Friends.

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Entries tagged with rating:nc-17

3 fics

fic: The Giant Knitted Condom

fic: Better Than a Chocolate Bunny

Cracked rec: Sheepehs, Clouds, Puffs, and Fluffs by keep_waking_up

Fic: Shishkabobbing the Tikka

Fic: How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms

Fic: Late Nights at the Zoo

Fic: The S&M Adventures

Fic: Holding His Own

FIC: Delicious (Jared/Jensen, NC-17)

Fic: Bosoms (or the Lack Thereof)

No Place Like Home

The Garden Gnome

Jay Skellington, the loneliest Pumpkin King, Jared/Jensen, R

FIC: My Zombie and Me (Jared/Jensen NC-17)

Under the Sea

The Jared, J2, NC-17

The Laws of Refraction (Jared/Jensen NC-17)

Fic: Purple Satin

In the Land Before Time: If We Hold On Together

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October 2017

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