j2_crack | Entries tagged with length:1k-5k

A/N: I'm not great at crossposting, so I have a bit of a backlog. The humour is these is closer to mild slapstick than to true crack, but I think they might belong here anyway. :)

Title: Would-be Thieves
Author:

walking_tornado
Beta:

firesign10
Genre: RPF non-AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: G
Wordcount: ~1k
Summary: A security guard stumbles upon a tipsy Jared and Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: The Naked Cowboy
Author:

walking_tornado
Beta:

firesign10
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: ~6k
Summary: Jared’s vacation takes a turn for the better when he snaps a photo of naked Jensen.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Title: Cake Jumping
Author:

walking_tornado
Genre: RPF AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, (implied future Jared/Jensen/JDM)
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: ~800 words
Summary: Jared surprises Jensen on his birthday.
read on AO3
read on Dreamwidth

Tags:

somer.livejournal.com

I posted these to my journal the other day and

meus_venator asked me to repost them here. Yes why? Why haven't I thought about it myself?

Go and read. They're all under 5k!

Title: Mr. Piggles Makes A Match
Author:

destina
Wordcount: 4.200 words
Warnings: none
Summary: In a bizarre kind of way - and really, that's the story of their lives - the whole thing with Jared and Jensen started with laundry.

( more crack under the cut... )

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Divine Fruit Ltd.
Author:

walking_tornado
Pairing/Genre: Jared/Jensen, RPF AU, crack
Rating: R
Warnings: none

Summary: Jensen is a peach and Jared is a banana. (written for spn_masquerade)

Read at my LJ

Tags:

walking_tornado

Title: Better Than a Chocolate Bunny
Author:

walking_tornado
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Wordcount: 1.3k
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none

Summary: Jensen one-ups the Easter Bunny.

Read at my LJ

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: Dragon Heart
Author:

meus_venator
Beta/Editor:

fufaraw
Fandom: Supernatural RPF
Characters: Jensen/Jared
Rating: PG
Words: 4,500
Summary: The strange new world they had awoken in had turned suddenly cold.
Warnings: crackish, angsty, fairytale, dystopian world
A/N: Inspired by a photo

fufaraw found and sent me from tumblr

LJ | A03

* * *

It was late fall, and in the morning when the sky finally lightened there was no hint of sun, the horizon a dark and menacing grey. The previous night had been brutal, the third day in a row that the temperatures had plummeted mercilessly at sunset, and Jensen knew that many of their ranks would not have survived the night.

Tags:

meus_venator

Title: Sheepehs, Clouds, Puffs, and Fluffs
Author/Artist:

keep_waking_up
Status of work: completed
Characters and/or pairings: JDM/JP
Rating: NC-17
Warnings, kinks & contents: werelion!Jared, fluff, outsider (sheep) POV, age difference
Wordcount: 3019
Summary: Even with a mate, Jeff still has to hunt. That doesn’t mean Jared’s happy about it.

Reccer's notes: Alway a great writer keep_waking_up gifts us with a particularly lovely piece here. It starts with JDM, a bit at his wits end coping with his new and overly exuberant (as only Jared could be) werelion mate.

keep_waking_up spins this tale with a particularly deft hand and the tone is pitch perfect in its portray of kindly, and a little overwrought JDM. The shift to the Morgan sheeps POV was wonderfuly unexpected and brilliantly handled. She manages to easily capture all the enthusiasm and innocent charm of Jared the werelion as he struggles with a new language and culture, all the while imparting his absolute adoration of his mate. A charming, delightful story, beautifully crafted. You should go read.

Note: This is the second story in the series but it was so much fun dropping in in the middle. The first fic that kicked off this story is here: The Fluff Hunter.

Tags:

somer.livejournal.com

Title: How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms
Authors:

ashtraythief and

somersault_j
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: CRACK, dildos, comment fic collaboration between ash and me
Length: 1.400 words

Summary: Jensen is a total nerd, wearing dino underwear. Jared really likes it.

Tags:

ashtraythief.livejournal.com

Title: Late Nights at the Zoo
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2,000

Summary: Jared and Jensen really love each other. With Chad’s help, they take the next step.
Warnings/Kinks: tiger!Jared, panda!Jensen, schmoop, porn
Disclaimer: This did not happen. Ever. Seriously.
Notes: This month’s

smpc. Timestamp to Night at the Zoo, in which Jared the tiger falls in love with Jensen the panda and despite zoo fences, they make it work. Written for my kittehs

alycat,

keep_waking_up, and

kinkajou who ~~demanded~~ wished for tiger/panda porn for ~~Christmas~~ Valentine’s. To the absolute surprise to no one, I obliged. I still know nothing about zoo procedures. Many, many thanks for

fiercelynormal for the beta!

This way to the porn!

Tags:

keep-waking-up.livejournal.com

Title: The Unconventional Problems of Jared the Human and his Shifter Mate Jensen

Author:

keep_waking_up

Beta:

deceptivemirror

Pairing: R

Rating: Jared/Jensen

Word Count: 2877

Warnings: fluff, punny song references, abortive attempt at sentient bestiality (by the animal), etc.

A/N: Sequel to The Unconventional Courtship of Jared the Human and Jensen the Shifter.

Summary: Jared’s got ninety-eight problems, and all of them are male and occasionally feline.

READ HERE

Tags:

ashtraythief.livejournal.com

Title: The S&M Adventures
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~1,800

Summary: When Gerald Slicer watched the squirrel in his backyard, it should have made him suspicious. It didn’t. It was the last mistake he ever made.
Warnings/Kink: moose!jared, squirrel!Jensen, violence, minor character death, sex (yes, I am not kidding), partly outsider POV
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of this. In fact, I still don’t believe I’ve written this. I am definitely making no profit off of this.
Notes: So I’m trying to write a fic that should have been done ages ago. It just won’t flow. Then my roommate sneezed like a homicidal rodent and this happened. I don’t know, people. I think this might be the most insane thing I’ve ever written. And I’ve written dino porn. You have been warned.
Thank you, so much, to my steadfast beta

linvro21 who puts up with all my weirdness without batting an eye. Or so she claims… All remaining mistakes are clingy bastards.

Tags:

ephermeralk.livejournal.com

Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG??
Word Count: ~1k
Warnings/enticements?: J2 as raccoons.

Summary: Of all the stupid things Jared's done, getting him and his husband turned into raccoons for the night probably tops the list.

Fic here | SFW Jaredcoon ART by

kinkajou Here

Tags:

tebtosca.livejournal.com

Title: Delicious
Author:

tebtosca
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2131 words
Warnings: Goldilocks!Jensen, Big Bad Wolf Jared, somnophilia (noncon), knotting, wolfy behavior, bastardization of fairy tale characters, crack

Summary: Jensen the Narcoleptic goes in search of the Big Bad Wolf to get his best friend's red cape back.

Tags:

keep-waking-up.livejournal.com

Title: Bosoms (or the Lack Thereof)

Author: keep_waking_up

Beta: deceptivemirror

Pairing: Jared/Jensen

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 3825

Warnings: uber crack, creature!Jensen, comeplay, wings

A/N: This is an extremely belated birthday present for the wonderful

ashtraythief (and also doubles as my

smpc). Hopefully you enjoy the cracky goodness!

Summary: In which Jared’s king sends him out to a woo a maiden for him and the maiden turns out not to be a maiden.

READ HERE

Tags:

tebtosca.livejournal.com

Title: My Zombie and Me
Author:

tebtosca
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2226 words
Warnings: cracky psuedo-zombie necro

Summary: IT tech Jared finds The Walking Dead fanfic on his work crush's computer and decides to do something about it.

Tags:

ephermeralk.livejournal.com

Title: Under the Sea
Rating: NC-17ish?
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: ~1k
Warnings: orca-porn, prehensile orca-penises, and suicidal halibut

Summary: Jared really wants to touch fins with that hot Orca he's seen swimming around.

A/n: I'm blaming my flist for this. Ladies. You know who you are. Read at your own risk.

Jared took a deep breath before he plunged deep into the cool water off the San Juan Islands.

Tags:

heartblowswild.livejournal.com

Title: The Pretty Pretty Peacock
Author:

heartblowswild
Pairing: J2
Rating: PG
Summary: Based on this prompt from

spn_masquerade: Jensen is a werepeacock. Jared is a wereflamingo. Strangeness ensues. They aren’t weres in this fic though, just a flamingo trying to attract the love of his life, a peacock. The art is better. Go see it here: Love Birds by

kinkajou.

The Pretty Pretty Peacock

Tags:

herminekurotowa.livejournal.com

Title: The 30-Year-Old Virgin
Author/Artist:

tebtosca
Status of work: completed
Characters and/or pairings: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Warnings, kinks & contents: awkward sexy times, crack-adjacent
Wordcount: 4431
Summary: Jensen is a grumpy virgin sex shop owner. Jared is a male model moonlighting as a pizza delivery guy. This is what happens when they accidentally meet.

Reccer's notes: Nobody eats pizza in this fic. There's a whole bunch of not-so-helpful friends and Chad being Chad. There are condom balloon animals and someone died in a tragic accident involving a ring gag and an overripe plantain. Just read it already! And don't forget to check out

siennavie's cracktastic art (the vid!).

Tags:

keep-waking-up.livejournal.com

Title: Purple Satin

Author:

keep_waking_up

Beta:

deceptivemirror

Pairing: Jared/Jensen

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 5,013

Warnings: crack, fluff, vampire!Jared, light blood!play, staking of a vampire (not Jared), some crude language

Summary: Written for kinkajou. Jensen was only down at the vamp club on a hunt. Some weirdly cheerful vegetarian vamp flirting with him was definitely not in the plans.

READ HERE

Tags:

keep-waking-up.livejournal.com

Title: The One (Knot)

Author:

keep_waking_up

Beta:

deceptivemirror

Pairing: Jared/Jensen

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 2,216

Warnings: A/B/O, crack, knotting, fairytale curses, rimming, self-lubrication, heat, mating

Prompt: Prompted by

wendy to

alezig on twitter and I stole the prompt: Sword and the Stone-style: First one to make Jared’s knot pop gets to keep him. Many try, only Jensen (true love) succeeds.

Summary: Jared got cursed by the king from the neighboring kingdom, so Jared’s father cursed that king’s son right back. Sometimes things can really backfire.

READ HERE

Tags:

ephermeralk.livejournal.com

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Entries tagged with length:1k-5k

3 fics

Cracked Recs

fic: Divine Fruit Ltd.

fic: Better Than a Chocolate Bunny

Dragon Heart | Jensen/Jared | AU PG

Cracked rec: Sheepehs, Clouds, Puffs, and Fluffs by keep_waking_up

Fic: How Dinosaurs Brought Them Orgasms

Fic: Late Nights at the Zoo

Fic: The Unconventional Problems of Jared the Human and his Shifter Mate Jensen

Fic: The S&M Adventures

ficlet: behind the mask

FIC: Delicious (Jared/Jensen, NC-17)

Fic: Bosoms (or the Lack Thereof)

FIC: My Zombie and Me (Jared/Jensen NC-17)

Under the Sea

The Pretty Pretty Peacock

REC: Dildos vs. Pepperoni Pizza

Fic: Purple Satin

Fic: The One (Knot)

Sappy on the Inside

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October 2017

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