Kettle of Trouble – Take II j2_crack Halloween Comment-Meme

[meus_venator]

It's coming up on Halloween again and time to dust off the old caldron and open the Kettle of Trouble Halloween Meme — Take II here at j2_crack! We had some amazing fills last year, so, time to take up the torch, give us a prompt, or create something in fic, art, or vid, to celebrate Jared and Jensen and the trouble they can get up this Halloween.

And help spread the word – pimping banners below. We need to get the word out so folks will get their Boo On!
Use of J2 art donated by Demachi

The Rules:

1) Comment to this post with any and all prompts for Kettle of Trouble. You want spells, witches, invisibility, tattoos from dusty books, herbal drinks with weird kickback, disastrous results from reading your lines aloud backwards, ancient objects you should never have touched, (and definitely never inserted) all with a Halloween twist? This is your meme! Channel all your ghoulish feels and crack on! Prompts can be kinky, porny, or gen, and other characters are welcome as long as the prompt includes at least Jared or Jensen.

2) Fill those prompts with fic or art or vid! Writers and artists, you don't have to follow the prompt to the letter, but try to help the prompter go home happy. More than one fill to a prompt is welcome.

3) For PROMPTS: Please list your pairing and any kinks when prompting, prompt as many times as you want, one prompt per comment.

WHEN FILLING IN: Please put "Filled" in the subject line along with a title for your fill. Linking to your own journal for fills is fine, but it would be preferred if you post both HERE and on your own journal. If it is a long fic. Do a j2_crack posting and link to it.
It just makes the meme page more exciting. But crack anywhere, anytime is fine.

4) And have fun doing it! It is j2_crack after all

5) Tell all your friends! And family or not

6) And spread the love. If needed we can provide a spell.

Anonymous commenting is on, but will go through moderation, IP logging is off. And PM me if I've messed anything up!
A list of fills will be assembled as they happen.

Pimping Banners.
Code courtesty of digitic who came to our rescue. Thanks so much!

350 pixel J2

<center><a href="http://j2-crack.livejournal.com/47732.html"><img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/meus_venator/31762210/252187/252187_original.png" /></a></center>


500 pixel Jensen


<center><a href="http://j2-crack.livejournal.com/47732.html"><img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/meus_venator/31762210/253066/253066_original.png" /></a></center>

500 Pixel jared

<center><a href="http://j2-crack.livejournal.com/47732.html"><img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/meus_venator/31762210/252805/252805_original.png" /></a></center>

500 pixel J2

<center><a href="http://j2-crack.livejournal.com/47732.html"><img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/meus_venator/31762210/252141/252141_original.png" /></a></center>

500 pixel J2

<center><a href="http://j2-crack.livejournal.com/47732.html"><img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/meus_venator/31762210/252141/252141_original.png" /></a></center>

[ Free pimping Icon for the taking ]

Now Get cracking!

Our fic fills
When The Cat's Away, Jared/Jensen by ilikecrystals
Jay Skellington, the loneliest Pumpkin King Jared/Jensen by meus_venator
Garden Gnome, Jared/Jensen by walking_tornado
The house at the end of the street, Jared/Jensen by reggie11
No place like home, Jared/Jensen/Chad! by ilikecrystals

Our art fill!
NSFW doodle 'On Halloween all of Jensen's sex toys get cursed' by siennavie


Thanks to everyone who participated this year. We may have only had a few fills, but they were all awesome quality!!!! GO READ/LOOK AT THEM if you haven't yet.

Comments

Re: Jared/Jensen

[stelladelnordxd.livejournal.com]

So..I think I may combine this prompt with the one above it. Is that alright with you?

Jared/Jensen

[ferrous-wheeler.livejournal.com]

J1 has always been teased as being a bit of a scaredy-cat so, to prove he's not, he accepts his friends' dare and reads from an old book in a cemetery on halloween night, nothing happens (so he thinks) and his friends jump out and scare him. But, later on that night, there's a knock on the door and it's J2 - the spell actually did work.

[reggie11.livejournal.com]

J1's grandmother was a known witch in her village in the old country. After she dies she bequeaths all of her belongings to her grandson. J2 helps J1 sort through bits and pieces and stumbles across an entry in her grimoire about her and her coven using flying potion and how it's only to be used during an All Hallows ceremony. J1 finds the labelled potion bottle in among the boxes. It has to be rubbed all over the skin just before midnight. J1 convinces J2 that they should try it because his grandmother was pretty legendary with her skills.

They perform the little ceremony at the appointed time and help rub each other down with the potion. It turns out that the the potion does make you fly, but not how they thought. The potion is a powerful hallucinogen and now they're both high as kites. Cue antics.

Jensen/Jared (or whomever you like, gen is awesome too!)

[citrusjava.livejournal.com]

Do you know those Harry Potter Woke Up Gay fics? This prompt combines the tropes with your choice of wanky goodness (meant here in a lighthearted way):

After a controversial incident at a convention, J1 is cursed by a fan witch, and wakes up a feminist (or other social activist of your choice). J2 only has till the end of the convention to figure out what's going on, how to save his beloved J1, and what the fuck intersectionality means.

Jared/Jensen

[sylsdarkplace]

There's a creepy old house at the end of a dead end street in Jared's town. He's heard tales about it his whole life. Sometimes it was said that it was haunted, others that a witch lived there. The house had such a reputation not even as high school students would he and his friends approach. it. But he gets a little drunk with friends while home from college on Halloween, and this time when his friends dare him to go up and knock on the door, he does ...

Fill: The house at the end of the street - Part 1

[reggie11.livejournal.com]

This is so ridiculously late, but better late than never I guess. The rest will be posted over the next couple of days.

Warnings: None for this part, but there'll be porn a little further on (do I even need to warn for that?)

The house at the end of Oak Street had been empty, broken down, and creepy as hell, for as long as Jared could remember. In fact, his mother had told him that it was spoken about, in fearful whispers, as being a haunted house back when she was in grade school, and her father had told her that children had thought the same when he himself was a boy. Normally, something like a rumored haunted house would have had the teenagers of the town clamoring to either investigate it, or use it as a make-out/party spot, but for some reason, even the bravado of teenagers wasn't quite enough to get anyone to actually go anywhere near it. The adults of the town, also, either avoided it because they too thought it was haunted, or the No Trespassing sign kept them away. Either way, nobody went near it, and if people had to pass by the house, they usually did so while keeping as much distance as possible. There were always taunts and dares of course, but to the best of Jared's knowledge, not a single person had ever taken the plunge.

Now here he was at twenty one years of age, home from college for Halloween, doing what was possibly the stupidest thing he'd ever done, or would ever do, in his whole life. A life that he hopes will be a long one, if he can just make it through the rest of the night.

Jared has had the same bunch of friends since Grade School, and out of all of his friends, Chad has always been the one most likely to get him into some sort of trouble, and it seemed tonight wasn't going to be any exception. Jared never had been able to back down from a dare where Chad was concerned—he has the tattoo of a Rocky and Bullwinkle on his ass (don't ask), that proves that point quite colorfully and permanently.

All six of them had been at Max's Halloween party, drinking way more than was probably advisable, but hell...it was Halloween after all, and you're supposed to get dressed in stupid costumes, get drunk, and act like idiots. It was Connor who had brought up the house on Oak Street, which was actually pretty standard Halloween conversation, with everyone speculating about why the house had been empty for so long. Stories of past owners who might have died there, witches covens practicing black magic, and one rumor – which nobody Jared knew had ever been able to substantiate – about a murder there in the 1920s.

And that's when it happened. Chad had dared Jared to walk up and knock on the door. Jared could admit to himself, even if he wouldn't admit it to Chad, that he was scared absolutely shitless at the thought. Because even if he was a grown-ass man now, the house really was that damn spooky, and rumors usually have some basis in fact, right? But after all the liquid courage at the party and the obligatory goading from Chad, Jared foolishly accepted and the group had set off.

Fill: The house at the end of the street - Part 2

[reggie11.livejournal.com]

His friends watched from across the street as Jared fought to open the rusty gate and push his way under the low hanging branches from overgrown trees, through the overly long grass, to the sagging front porch. He had a flashlight they'd snaffled from Max's house, but even though it was pretty bright, and the moon was clear and full, it wasn't anywhere near light enough for Jared's liking.

The giggling from his friends stopped the moment Jared used the big brass door-knocker, and everyone held their collective breath. Jared had one foot on the porch and one on the top step ready to flee at the slightest noise or movement. When long moments ticked by and nothing happened, he started feeling a little braver, waving to his friends as he shone the torchlight in a sweeping arc, up and down the length of the decaying wooden structure. He stepped past an ancient broken porch swing and shone the light past rotting, moth-eaten curtains into the front room of the house. He couldn't see much through the grime, but it looked in much better shape inside than it did outside.

When nothing at all happened; no clanking of chains, no Boo Radley jumping out at him, not a single peep other than the slight breeze rustling through leaves, Jared did a drunken pirouette on the top step and bowed to his friends. As he began to retreat he heard a sound so faint, he wasn't sure he actually heard anything at all, but for a moment it sounded remarkably like a human sigh. He stopped dead in his tracks and listened. His fight or flight instinct going from high to overdrive, but when he heard nothing but the same breeze through the trees and the nervous laughter from his friends, he put it down to his overactive imagination running away with him.

As he sauntered back toward the group, stumbling a few times over broken paving stones, his bravado was back in full force. He'd done what nobody else that he knew of had been brave enough to do. That's when he'd made his next mistake. He drunkenly bragged about how courageous he was to Chad...and that's how he found himself in his current predicament, so terrified that he thinks he may have peed a little, and wondering if he'll live to see the morning.

TBC

Jared/Jensen

[ferrous-wheeler.livejournal.com]

Jared is not your typical garden gnome, for one he's the tallest gnome in the entire history of his people, plus there's the whole lack of stealth thing as it's entirely impossible for him to hide his massive body under a toadstool - good thing he's invisible most of the time. Unfortunately, Jensen, whose garden he's living in, thinks his garden is probably haunted, judging by the seances and strange people who Jared has seen wandering the yard, but this Halloween Jared's got a plan on how he's finally going to meet him...

Re: Jared/Jensen FILLED: Garden Gnome

[walking_tornado]

I took some liberties with your prompt--hope you don't mind. ;)
Read here: Garden Gnome (~6k, NC17)

Re: Jared/Jensen

[walking_tornado]

Now has a sequel: here

Re: Jared/Jensen

[anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com]

Mooseen!!

[anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com]

J1 is a traditional monster-under-the-bed and he's been doing nicely thank you, until he gets assigned to single dad, J2's kid. J2 doesn't believe in monsters but he teaches his child to use a BB gun to scare off any monsters. J1 sticks around intending to show him just how scary he can be. It's hard to be noticed when nobody really believes in you and the longer he stays the more he wants to be the monster IN J2's bed.

[anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com]

Jared's body hair is sentient - and it's jealous of Jensen's freckles. Things come to a head on Halloween when Jared covers up in his costume - but Jensen is practically naked proudly showing off acres of skin and of course freckles.

[candygramme.livejournal.com]

"Clap your hands if you believe" might have been a story, just made for TV, but when Jensen as Dean yelled out his famous line, "Fight the fairies!" it just so happened that Puck was passing by. The line horrified him, so he went to the Seelie court to tell the queen. Now, the fairies have decided that they're going to fight back, and the J's are going to have to defend themselves or...

Jared/Jensen or Jared/Jeff

[ashtraythief.livejournal.com]

To finally get the hot older guy down the street to notice him, Jared gets himself a love potion from his witch friend. Unfortunately she is new to the business and things go spectacularly wrong.

Re: Jared/Jensen FILLED When The Cat's Away 1

[ilikecrystals.livejournal.com]

This contains NON-CON at first so be aware! Non-beta'd so probably filled with errors. Sorry.

**
“Just get your shit and get the hell out of here.” Jensen stalks out of the room, barely hearing the apologies in the pleading voice of his 'as of five fucking minutes ago' ex-girlfriend, and he’s pissed as hell because it happened again and you’d think he’d fucking learn.

Just another bitch wanting his money, wanting to be attached to his fame, his looks and his wealth and he’s so fucking sick of it!

“Jensen, please, baby, you know I love you, only you, and I just need a little cash, just to tide me over, get me through. You know how it is…“

Yeah, he knew.

Unfortunately, she didn’t know him very well and once she asked for money, the wall in his brain came crashing down, all bets were off and she was outta there-

So fucking fast, the door didn’t have a chance to hit her in the ass on her way through.

And he’d shut down, been barely aware of her leaving because he’d already moved on, his mind clicking with his newest experiment, heart thumping at his research and his freaking courage because he’s close, he knows he is, can feel it and holy shit, if this works, it’s gonna be fucking awesome!

Found the perfect specimen at his favorite coffee shop two days ago.

He’d almost swallowed his tongue when the six foot four gorgeous length of hotness passed by his table, latte in hand, to settle at his lone laptop in the corner, the sway of the man’s tight ass enough to make his dick swell, but it was the exotic eyes and deep dimples that had captured him.

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Perfect, really and he had to, he just couldn’t help himself.

Managed to swipe the dude’s coffee container from the trash and dash away, knew he could swab the spit from the rim and then recreate the DNA-

Of the single most perfect human being he’d ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on.

And now it would be all his.

Perfect, foolproof.

Ran the specimen through his recombinant DNA transcription replicator and now, twenty-four hours later, the proteins are ready, waiting to be compiled into the most incredible, exquisite, beautiful, handsome, flawless fucking boyfriend of all time.

And then Jensen won’t be alone anymore. Because his boyfriend will be absolutely perfect in every way.

He wants specifics, starts splicing genes, his brain systematically going through his internal list that Jensen’s had in his head since he was fifteen years old and realized he was gay and a geek.

*

He’d known then that he would never fit in, so far away from societal norms, it was scary. His intelligence, his absolute focus had enabled him to win grant after grant, prize after prize, turned him into a multi-billionaire, but it never gave him what he craved, deep in his gut, his heart.

Acceptance.

Wants to be loved, not for what he can buy someone but for who he is. Wants to be cared for because he’s a loving, kind man and not because he has a movie star face, has ‘let me suck your cock’ lips and dreamy jade-green eyes whose thick lashes curl sweet and natural, and seem to enthrall every single person he meets.

*

So, yeah, he’s splicing and recombining and he’s very methodical because he wants to be sure-

Sure that his dream lover’s cock is huge, long and thick so Jensen can ride on it for hours, wants his man to have incredible stamina, so that he can have multiple rounds without rest.

Sure that his creation is agoraphobic, not wanting to leave the house ever because if the clone should meet with the ‘real man’ he’d been modeled after, the consequences would be devastating.

Needs the man to be intelligent and a good conversationalist because Jensen is bored, lonely as all hell and dammit, he wants someone with a brain!

Doesn’t need it to be rocket science debating, just needs to be stimulated, challenged because after the lovemaking is over, needs his brain fed as well.

So he’s going to download data into the prototype’s mind: current events, scientific studies and research, as well as novels and textbooks, magazines and movies.

He smiles to himself as he peruses titles-may as well throw a little porn into the mix as well…

[tipsy-kitty.livejournal.com]

J1 shows up at his friend's costume party dressed as Rocky Horror, wearing tiny gold shorts and not much else. He spies his corseted Dr. Frank N Furter across the crowded room and sexytimes ensue.

Jared/Jensen, fairies, cursed!boys

[somer.livejournal.com]

On Halloween Jensen dares Jared to read something from an old book they find in the prop department on set. The next day they both wake up as cute, little fairies. Jensen is turning around again and again, trying to get a proper view of his ridiculous green wings. Meanwhile Jared secretly tries to check out, that yes, even as a fairy, he's still bigger then Jensen.

After the shock wears off, they try to find a way to turn back human again.

Jared/Jensen, Chad, outsider POV

[somer.livejournal.com]

Chad can't believe his freaking luck. On his way home from some lame Halloween party, he finds free porn in the park. Just right there, the huge lion putting his big dick into that chick in the blue dress. Chad, still a little drunk, is sure they won't mind that the scarecrow is about to join them.

Re: Jared/Jensen, Chad, outsider POV-FILLED

[ilikecrystals.livejournal.com]

This is REALLY, REALLY late but I finally finished it and didn't know what else to do with it so I decided to post it anyway. Hope you enjoy ;)

http://j2-crack.livejournal.com/51048.html

Jared/Jensen

[somer.livejournal.com]

On Halloween all of Jensen's sex toys get cursed, and all of them want to be in Jensen's ass right now. Jared has to protect Jensen's ass with his cock.

Re: Jared/Jensen

[siennavie.livejournal.com]

Probably not what you had in mind, but it's what Jared wanted to do!

NSFW doodle! Even though it's cartoon nudity. (http://siennavie.livejournal.com/53270.html)

Re: Pumpkin king!Jensen/Jared

[simplybeing.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I love this! What about the reverse, though-- with Jared as the Pumpkin King? Jensen can be whoever/whatever you want (surprise me!), but I love love love the idea of Pumpkin King Jared.

[ilikecrystals.livejournal.com]

This is the comment from meus_venator that I wrote When The Cat's Away for:

Filthy rich and reclusive inventor Dr.Jensen Ackles is fed up with being taken for granted because of his looks. Time and time again he has to break up with shallow gold diggers who only see his good looks and large wallet. And he's busy, he has work to do, he can't spend all his time courting, when he needs to splice more genes. So instead of going out on the market again, he decides to build himself a boyfriend. The only problem is he leaves the cage open on one of his test animals and it gets introduced into the mix

[meus_venator]

Thank you so much!